Irresistibly Impossible To Me

How do I say
What you've wanted to hear
How can I be
The one you want near
How do you approach this
Without any fear

So scared of this
Every damn time
So fucking scared
I'm losing my mind

I brush it all off
Because I don't need it
I lie to myself
So I justify leaving it

Why am I like this
When will this stop
When will I be
Back up on the top

Those times are golden
So calm and so warm
I've already had some
And now I want more

I search and destroy
Anything I can find
Because I still think
Of what happened that time

It won't happen now
Because I won't let it
I won't get involved
And I always regret it

I'm so jealous
Of some that I see
I look all around
Why can't it be me

The exitement
The chase
The ultimate goal
Or the fling
The fun
And some loud rock and roll

Go for the good ones
Or go for the bad
I'm just not sure now
On which side I stand

Keep searching and searching
Please don't ever stop
Just keep your eyes open
And you'll be back on the top